Everyone tells me to leave you
But my soul tells me to hold you
To love you
To see you
Until you finally break o p e n and let me in.
I wonder how many lifetimes it would take?
How much self betrayal I would need to bear
To chase affection that is merely a g h o s t —
Until you finally choose to love me?
How many sloppy seconds I would need to eat from your table
When all I want is to offer you all my firsts?
Hell, my first kiss
My first long embrace
My first I love you
I already gave those to you
And all you gave me was s p a c e
Over and over and over again until “space” filled every inch of us — and there was nothing left.
So I finally stopped running toward you
And breathed all the love I had for you
Into myself
I left your mirage
To chase after my own d r e a m s —
Dreams you never show up in anymore.
But God, I miss the way you looked at me.