A letter to my, beautiful, silly, intelligent, ever-growing inner-child-teenager-adult self — from myself. #selfception
How could I ever describe my love for you? It burns within me.
My breath matches yours, two parts of the same soul, growing into a more integrated, healthy whole. You are the little girl in me who I don’t acknowledge enough, the scared and anxious one who needs to be reminded of her worth.
I see you, darling — the way your curiosity about the world is endless and ever moving, the way a simple sunset can light up your whole world. The way you dance and sing and laugh, free to be completely you — unreserved, incomparable to those around you.
I hope you see yourself like I do in those moments. Beautiful, wonderful, perfect ... you.
I love how hilarious you are, how you bring light to others with your humor. You are bright and radiant and full of wit. But please remember that you are just as worthy when you have nothing funny to say, or even when you have nothing to say at all.
You are worthy in the quiet, in the stillness, in the empty moments. It’s okay to relax, to retreat. You don’t ever have to hold the whole world in your hands, or even the emotions of those around you.
I am in awe of the grace you show to others, sweet girl, how you navigate your life with a sense of wonder and are always striving to grow — desiring to judge the people around you less and less every day — to truly see them.
I so desperately want you to look in the mirror and know that you are deserving of the same grace and unconditional love you give. I know that losing your dad so young has grown your heart even bigger for others in their pain, and I see that you sometimes wish this would be reflected back to you more.
I am here for you in that regard.
I will lead you and hold your hand and show you the depth of beauty that is inside you, the kind that stars are made of. I’ll remind you that not everyone will leave you, and if they do, I won’t.
It’s hard, I know, to live with balance, to understand that you have everything inside of you that you need, and also that is okay to ask for help, too. At times, you will ask for something someone cannot give, and in those moments, I will teach you, slowly but surely, how to give all of this to yourself.
I see you learning to trust your own instincts and often feeling like you’re failing at it. It’s always been easier to put your full faith in those around you. It even makes it so that when they fail you, you have someone to blame, instead of yourself.
Beautiful girl, you have done nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. And even when you have made mistakes, I know you do your best to change and to shift them, even if it takes time. You’re learning how to grow into an adult. It’s scary, and I see you.
You were so young when you lost your daddy, and that taught you that the world is unsafe. It ripped from you your ability to know how to trust yourself and others and kept you feeling small.
It’s painful to realize that throughout your life, people have continued to fail you deeply. You have trusted the wrong ones — but it has always led you back to yourself.
I know it’s the scariest space for you, to be alone. But you are never truly alone. I am here for you. And there are people who love you so deeply and endlessly. There are people who will show up for you because you are not meant to do this entirely by yourself. Let them love you in the ways they know how, and I will show you how to love yourself in the ways they don’t.
I marvel at who you are, all of the intricacies that make you, you. I know it’s difficult to feel different, to feel like you don’t fit in, like you can’t quite master some of the most basic life skills those around you are nailing. But please don’t let this dim your light. You fill up a room, and you deserve to take up every ounce of that space.
I love you, I love you, I love you. And I beg you, with all that is in me, to please know that you are exactly the you this world needs, just as you are now, and in every stage as you grow.