“No one is coming to save you.
No one is coming to save you.
No one is coming to save you.”
I tell myself this over and over and over again.
It comes up with every new (old) theme that arises in this god-forsaken life I am living.
“No one is coming to save you today.
No one is coming to save you today.
No one is coming to save you today.
From the idea that you are unwanted.
That you are not desired.
That you are not special.”
I remind myself now that the feeling of being unseen is engrained so deeply in my psyche that there is no human who could even uncover the barriers, no matter how long and hard they dig.
I’ve spent a lot of years begging them to.
But now I know it’s me.
I’m coming to save me.
I’m doing the work and the digging and uncovering and —
I am d i s c o v e r i n g.