I prayed today.
Not because I had to.
Not because I even wanted to.
Rather, I needed to — I needed to feel close to the Divine, that interconnectedness of it all.
I don’t doubt that God heard me, whatever he or she is or isn’t (sometimes I just don’t know),
And yet I am also not 100% sure if I’m only praying to hear myself talk —
To hear myself say that I actually have hopes and dreams.
But in the very least, I do know that the Divinity of the breath echoing from my lungs, hears it’s own sound.
Deep calls to deep, holiness recognizes holy.
I am good enough as I am, if I never accomplish anything more in this life.
But I also want to declare that I more than that, and my truest self is waking up from her slumber.
I have so many talents and gifts that have felt locked in a vault and I think they want to be set free.
I am not asking for the happiest life that exists, and I don’t want to be healed from feeling it all (the bad and the good) — but I do want to be a part of something.
To sing.
To live in the power of music and harmony and breath and rhythm,
For the synchronicity to vibrate inside my bones,
Because music is power.
It is honest, it is brave, it is raw.
It connects us in our most vulnerable spaces, but it doesn’t abuse us when it finds our weakness.
It fills, it strengthens, it brings us home.
To ourselves.
To me.
To God.
I know the answer to my yearnings is yes.
And that I am her, the girl who lives her dreams.
Even now, as it all forms.
I am enough and I am more and I am enough.