I may never know her,
The girl I’d always hoped to be
Dancing,
smiling
free.
You held me underneath the water
d r o w n e d me in your unresolved sorrow
year,
after year,
after year.
Oh, what I would give to finally b r e a t h e.
To feel the air in my lungs,
Flowing in and out of me,
And meanwhile, you —
you think I am blind
as if I don’t see the lies behind your disguise,
and the fear in your weary eyes.
You are not as strong as you say
you cannot keep the waves at bay
Weeping as you sink,
Deeper,
and deeper,
and deeper
into the depths of the pain you thought you could resist.
Your mask slowly begins to wear off,
Exposing the fragility of the story you’ve always told
The one that makes you feel bigger than me.
Yet, I watch as it pulls you back
Down to the earth,
Don’t you see — you are made from the dust
just
like
me?
You are not immune to life’s crashing waves
Never far from from my side in the depths of its current
As we both gasp for the very same air
Your arms flailing as you l a u g h —
Echoes of a lonely, desperate man
With a contagious smile
Who was once was told to be quiet, too
it almost ruined you,
and you could not bear the weight of it
So you ruined me, too.
I want to know if it was worth it
to suffocate the very life from my bones
so that you wouldn’t feel alone?
To call me names
as if we don’t all have the same
blood flowing through our veins?
The tide is calming now,
the storm settles in,
Together, we breathe.
And through my tear-washed eyes,
I notice my reflection in yours
Seeing you clearer than ever before
You have always concealed the reality of your essence
Desperately trying to hide who you really are
Funny how it all revealed the truth
Your mask isn’t w a t e r p r o o f.